Fall community bonfire announced! And why it’s hard to cuddle a hedgehog.
A hedgehog nestled in the palm of a hand, with orange berries and green shrubs in the background. Photo by Sierra NiCole Narvaeth (via Unsplash).
This summer, I’ve been leaning into the quiet wisdom of hedgehogs.
It turns out that they have a lot to tell us about human relationships.
This goes back to Germany in 1851, when the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer wrote “The Hedgehog’s Dilemma.” It goes something like this:
At night, hedgehogs get cold, so they cuddle in close to each other. But their quills are sharp, so they pull away. Then they get cold so they cuddle in again. They get hurt, they pull away. On and on.
Schopenhauer saw this as the inevitable ebb and flow of human connection, endlessly cycling back and forth.
I relate to this so hard! I’m someone who craves community, connection, and service. I want to be talking to everyone, all the time. But I’m also someone who aches to be alone, and gets itchy and anxious when I’m not getting enough solo time.
The hedgehog’s dilemma reminds me that this doesn’t have to be solved.
We don’t have to choose between a false binary of introvert or extrovert. We can actually just keep moving, back and forth, even when it’s awkward, from closeness to solitude and back again.
There are a lot of reasons not to try. We’ve all lived through betrayals and rejections. We all carry belonging wounds.
And then there’s all the destruction around us. When I look out at the world — armies unleashed on homeless people, an entire population starving, not for lack of food, but lack of justice, safe injection sites shuttering in my own city — all I see are reasons to close myself off.
And yet, my need for others stubbornly persists.
I think we’re guided by a drive that’s deeper than our scars and fears. Before social media, before the slammed door, before Covid-19 or attachment theory or any of these raging wars, there’s a truth deep inside of us, that the work of human connection is good and worthy and right.
So. Hi. We’re organizing another bonfire.
In this time, we are going back to a very ancient thing — gathering around a fire, face to face, to say hello and just… see what happens. Connection for the sake of connection. Curious and brave.
It will be Saturday, September 13th, 7-8:30-ish at the Withrow Park fire pit in Toronto.
You can expect:
A welcome committee to make sure that everyone who wanders in gets warmly greeted.
A table dedicated to writerly tools that need a new home — bring your unused journals or ex-favourite pens, and plan to go home with exciting replacements.
Bingo cards with writerly conversation challenges to get the connections flowing (with prizes, naturally.)
Regular and vegan marshmallows with roasting sticks if you’re into that kind of thing.
If you’ve been following for a while, you’ll know that most of our outdoor events get rained on, so this is also an excellent gathering if, say, your clothes need a rinse. (But seriously, we’ve booked an indoor space if we need it.)
This event is fully accessible — paved paths leading up to it, accessible bathrooms, and an accessible indoor space if we move it inside.
We’ll be there of course! We love to meet you. Syd, Kim, Mari, Asifa, Lesley, and I are committed. Heather, Britt and Sophia are hoping to come too.
If you’re looking for a more sustained way to write with us this fall, here are some excellent options.
Fall Small Group Workshops are filling fast this year.
We have several with space left — Begin Here on Monday evenings, Romantasy on Wednesday evenings, Focus and Flow on Monday mornings, and lots more.
Not ready for a full workshop? We have options.
Every weekday morning at 9am, we host sliding scale writing sessions on Zoom.
If you are Black, Indigenous, or a Person of Colour, we also host drop-in BIPOC-only sessions twice a month.
Finally, if you’re shy of groups, we also work with writers 1-on-1.
Might want to join us? Pop that bonfire on your calendar.
Saturday, September 13th, 7-8:30pm-ish at Withrow Park.
And, of course — a poem.
This poem (shared with me by team member Asifa) is all about the beauty of gathering.
Here’s a weird historical detail.
Schopenhauer himself decided to mostly opt out of the dilemma he so beautifully described. He was skeptical about friendships, and avoided love. He lived alone with poodles, art, and music.
He probably would have hated the idea of this bonfire.
But here we are, still sharing his words, almost two centuries later, feeling connected to him through that.
Who knows what any of this means! But for those of us who do want to flow with each other, to wander in and out of each other’s orbits, to gather and just see what happens — we would love to see you at our bonfire.
In it with you,
P.S. Roll the photo credits! The hedgehog was taken by Sierra NiCole Narvaeth, the paper airplane by Suryapriya Saravanan, the bonfire by Roya Ann Miller, and the laptop and poem envelopes by Shannon Litt. Grateful!
P.P.S. If you’re not in Toronto and you’re feeling left out — our next community event will be online.